It’s amazing when strangers become friends, but its sad when friends become strangers.

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I got this as one of those daily dose of forwards that make one’s day at work bearable. Reading this, I was reminded of all those strangers who are now good friends and all those ‘friends’ whom I hardly understand anymore.

Strangers-who’re-now-friends include people from blog-land, some whom I’ve never met but who know whats happening in my world.Then there are people at work. People who’ve worked with me for less than a year, but are now qualifying for the speed-dial entries. Cousins whom I meet once every 5 years , but who are now regular midnight-chat pals.

Friends-who’re-now-strangers:It makes me feel sad to think of them.

Like the friends from school/ college who are so absorbed in their lives that they don’t have time to take calls/ reply to mails. How? Why?

Like those friends who think ‘trust’ grows on apple trees. Lush and available, all year long. To be peeled and eaten, and thrown away at will. There was this friend of mine, who borrowed a reasonable amount of money nearly a year back. I had been reminding her about it every once in a while, and was always told that it would be re payed ‘as soon as the quarterly bonus was credited.”
Quarters went by without me getting any penny. I suggested she repay the money in installments, for which she readily agreed. When my wedding neared, I realized that I would need every penny I owned and more, to finance at least sobme of the events. By this time I had started giving her almost daily reminders, when she assured me that the cheque had been deposited. Another week of no money and another round of calls later I was told that the cheque had bounced. She swore that she’d return the money positively before my marriage. When I didn’t get it right till the day before the wedding, I wrote a slightly distasteful message asking her why she was behaving so strange. And that I had now lost hope of ever seeing that money. I had just about come to terms with the loss of this huge amount, when she asked me why I was ‘putting our friendship at stake’, again promising to return it before the wedding. Well, a couple of months have gone by, I haven’t heard from either the friend or the money.

I am confused. On one hand I trusted her. I understood and accepted her delays for over a year, only because I thought she had problems. What hurt me most were the lies and the deceit. I could have taken a frank,” I’m hard up now. I can’t return it till next year”. But a ” I’m not in town’ and “The money has been transferred” again and again bugs me. Once a friend, now a stranger. Sad.

She’s taught me never to lend money to anyone who’s not a blood relation, unless I’m ready to consider it charity.

Copyright 2008 by Meira

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39 responses »

  1. I think if each of us had to write a paragraph about a friendhip gone sore and why, we could collectively combine it in a book. sometimes i still find it unbelievable when friends say they don't have time to keep in touch because they are so busy.

  2. I think if each of us had to write a paragraph about a friendhip gone sore and why, we could collectively combine it in a book. sometimes i still find it unbelievable when friends say they don't have time to keep in touch because they are so busy.

  3. I think if each of us had to write a paragraph about a friendhip gone sore and why, we could collectively combine it in a book. sometimes i still find it unbelievable when friends say they don't have time to keep in touch because they are so busy.

  4. That happens…. People you know becomes people you knew and that is the saddest part….

    Like the earlier commentator said, everyone of us hav such an experience and I am not an exception.

  5. That happens…. People you know becomes people you knew and that is the saddest part….

    Like the earlier commentator said, everyone of us hav such an experience and I am not an exception.

  6. I agree money is the best relation-breaker and its not just friends,money has the power to alienate even blood-relatives…its so sad but true.

  7. I agree money is the best relation-breaker and its not just friends,money has the power to alienate even blood-relatives…its so sad but true.

  8. Meira, your experience about lending money to a friend was indeed an unpleasant one. Often, money breaks good relationships. I had a bad experience with one of my relatives and that prompted me to refuse a friend whom i courteously explained that our friendship should not break over money issues so he should find some bank loan. And guess what he writes me off…

  9. Meira, your experience about lending money to a friend was indeed an unpleasant one. Often, money breaks good relationships. I had a bad experience with one of my relatives and that prompted me to refuse a friend whom i courteously explained that our friendship should not break over money issues so he should find some bank loan. And guess what he writes me off…

  10. Meira, your experience about lending money to a friend was indeed an unpleasant one. Often, money breaks good relationships. I had a bad experience with one of my relatives and that prompted me to refuse a friend whom i courteously explained that our friendship should not break over money issues so he should find some bank loan. And guess what he writes me off…

  11. oh i hate this but meira money is the worst thing u know

    my mom always says that keep money matters out of it if u want the relation to be healthy

    i have kept that in mind and politely say no if people ask they feel bad for sometime may be but then its better than completely loosing the relation

  12. oh i hate this but meira money is the worst thing u know

    my mom always says that keep money matters out of it if u want the relation to be healthy

    i have kept that in mind and politely say no if people ask they feel bad for sometime may be but then its better than completely loosing the relation

  13. Monika:Your mom is so right. But as Gopinath mentioned in his comment…sometimes even saying no sours relationships! Weird world!

    USP: What do I say…my bank balance is now at a shamefully low level :D

    Sri: Pshaw:P

    Gopinath: Some people never understand good intentions!!

  14. Monika:Your mom is so right. But as Gopinath mentioned in his comment…sometimes even saying no sours relationships! Weird world!

    USP: What do I say…my bank balance is now at a shamefully low level :D

    Sri: Pshaw:P

    Gopinath: Some people never understand good intentions!!

  15. Sara: I know. Weird. Welcome :)

    Suresh: I hope it wasn't a huge amount.

    A: I know. How much time does it take to send an sms or mail? 2 minutes? Even the president has 2 minutes to spare!

  16. Sara: I know. Weird. Welcome :)

    Suresh: I hope it wasn't a huge amount.

    A: I know. How much time does it take to send an sms or mail? 2 minutes? Even the president has 2 minutes to spare!

  17. ..ugh. that really leaves a nasty taste no. somehow i find it easier to write off bad debts with random people, its more difficult to write off bad friends i guess.

  18. ..ugh. that really leaves a nasty taste no. somehow i find it easier to write off bad debts with random people, its more difficult to write off bad friends i guess.

  19. I know I know. Been through a ditto situation. Haven't seen the money in three years now. It leaves a very bitter aftertaste but still makes me think WHY the person would have behaved this way. Is he/she so helpless that she cannot return money or so low that she cannot keep a word.
    On one point, I beg to differ- a blood relation can also deceive you. I mean you cant blindly trust anybody, not even a blood relation.

  20. I know I know. Been through a ditto situation. Haven't seen the money in three years now. It leaves a very bitter aftertaste but still makes me think WHY the person would have behaved this way. Is he/she so helpless that she cannot return money or so low that she cannot keep a word.
    On one point, I beg to differ- a blood relation can also deceive you. I mean you cant blindly trust anybody, not even a blood relation.

  21. Even with blood relatives one golden rule I follow is that when I lend i dont expect it back.
    To me this friend does not seem a friend at all. And to get her out of your life the price you paid (the moeney) is well worth it! Who needs such people!
    Actually I agree so much with you about friends turning strangers and strangers turning friends. I had written a similar post too (not about lending) and I was outraged to discover i was so naive. I ahve made some 'real friends' through blogging and I am glad.
    Trust me this person you're talking about is a 'drain'(guess u know what i am referring to)–really not worth wasting time even thinking about.
    Cheers
    preeti

  22. Even with blood relatives one golden rule I follow is that when I lend i dont expect it back.
    To me this friend does not seem a friend at all. And to get her out of your life the price you paid (the moeney) is well worth it! Who needs such people!
    Actually I agree so much with you about friends turning strangers and strangers turning friends. I had written a similar post too (not about lending) and I was outraged to discover i was so naive. I ahve made some 'real friends' through blogging and I am glad.
    Trust me this person you're talking about is a 'drain'(guess u know what i am referring to)–really not worth wasting time even thinking about.
    Cheers
    preeti

  23. What makes you think so that blood relations will return you back money. Actually, that just showed her true side. Nothing much you can do. Been there, felt that(Though not a huge lumpsome one but the attitude) . Now thinks I have given some to charity.

  24. What makes you think so that blood relations will return you back money. Actually, that just showed her true side. Nothing much you can do. Been there, felt that(Though not a huge lumpsome one but the attitude) . Now thinks I have given some to charity.

  25. Thats sad, but very fact of life. Money breaks relationships for sure. I think we all should learn to say NO, when time comes for that. Nice post:)

  26. Thats sad, but very fact of life. Money breaks relationships for sure. I think we all should learn to say NO, when time comes for that. Nice post:)

  27. when i give money i kinda give it away…i dont think it will come back…so i lend only what i can do without…works for me just fine…but i dont have any friends :)

  28. when i give money i kinda give it away…i dont think it will come back…so i lend only what i can do without…works for me just fine…but i dont have any friends :)

  29. when i give money i kinda give it away…i dont think it will come back…so i lend only what i can do without…works for me just fine…but i dont have any friends :)

  30. @Tys: You lucky man :)

    @ZillionBIG: Yes, say no and lose a friend. But better without one SUCH !Thanks for visiting :)

    @Joy: Sigh! Some people suck!

    @Preeti: I agree. But my monneeeyyy:(

    @reflections: Yes…hard and expensive !

    @G: True…though it would kill me if a blood relation did that to me. I'm close to only a handful of them!

    @Cynic: Yup …true :(

  31. @Tys: You lucky man :)

    @ZillionBIG: Yes, say no and lose a friend. But better without one SUCH !Thanks for visiting :)

    @Joy: Sigh! Some people suck!

    @Preeti: I agree. But my monneeeyyy:(

    @reflections: Yes…hard and expensive !

    @G: True…though it would kill me if a blood relation did that to me. I'm close to only a handful of them!

    @Cynic: Yup …true :(

  32. @Tys: You lucky man :)

    @ZillionBIG: Yes, say no and lose a friend. But better without one SUCH !Thanks for visiting :)

    @Joy: Sigh! Some people suck!

    @Preeti: I agree. But my monneeeyyy:(

    @reflections: Yes…hard and expensive !

    @G: True…though it would kill me if a blood relation did that to me. I'm close to only a handful of them!

    @Cynic: Yup …true :(

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